My Fear

by - February 23, 2015


Jack Harries asked a question to his viewers near the end of last year; “What do you fear?”
He had people send in a video of them via SKYPE telling him what their biggest fears were. He later compiled these video messages into a beautiful and touching video which I saw last week.
And it got me thinking. What do I fear?
I fear a lot of things; change, failure, the toaster when it pops and I’ve forgotten I’m making toast. But above all else I think I fear getting lost in the crowd. People so badly want to fit in, and I am just desperately trying to stand out. I don’t want to just become one of the many. I don’t want to lead a cookie cutter lifestyle. Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. That's not what I want. My aim in life is to love. Love what I'm doing, love who I am with, love myself. I want to love my job, I don't want to wake up and dread going to work, I don't want to make the same lunch every day, and eat the same dinner every night. I don't want normal. I don't want to get lost in the world.
But how do I do something important? How do I make it matter? How do I make something different of myself in a world that seems to want us all to be the same?
The answer is: I don't know yet. I have no idea how to stand out, how to make a change or even where to start. But I suppose that's what your 20s are for right? To figure things out.
I promise once I have, you guys will be the first to know.

Peace & Blessin's
Spenser xx

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