Learning To Love Yourself Will Be The Hardest Thing You Ever Do In Life | Wisdom Wednesday

by - November 04, 2015

"Learning to love yourself will be the hardest thing you ever do in life."

Happy Wednesday Babes, 

And oh how too true this quote is. Self-love is something that I've talked about a couple of times across a bunch of my different social media platforms. But I honestly cannot stress it enough how important a topic I think it is, so I'm going to talk about it some more. You see when I came across this quote, I started to think about how much truth exists in it. Sure in my 21 years of life I may not have passed too many hardships, I have been pretty lucky and pretty privileged throughout my life, and I am very grateful for that. I will say that there have been some tough things here and there, things I'm not really ready to go into to much detail about, but I truly believe that a journey to loving myself has been, and will continue to be (because I'm not there yet), one of the toughest. 
And this difficult journey, oh it starts at such a young age. An age where you don't really understand what you're feeling, and how destructive it is to you, mentally, physically and spiritually. 
You see I was 8 years old the first time I looked in a mirror and didn't like what I saw. 8 years old. Can you imagine going up to an 8 year old and telling them they need to change this, this, and this in order to feel better about themselves? I can't now, but back then, it only became part of daily routine. A daily self-hate routine if you will. When I got a little bit older, maybe 12, I remember so vividly making lists of things I didn't like about myself, things I wanted to change. I would look in the mirror and draw my body, and then draw what I wanted to look like in a different colour. Because even at 12, I was so oblivious to the idea of loving myself. 
Now fast forward almost 10 years, and I'm still not completely sure about it. I still have days when I look in the mirror and make mental notes about what I would change. I still have moments when I so desperately seek meaningless validation and attention from boys I don't even know, just to feel like I am worth someones attention. 
But I'm working at it. Everyday. I am trying so hard to figure out how to love myself, because I know that's what has to come first. 

Much Love, 
Spenser xx

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