The Biggest Human Temptation Is To Settle For Too Little | Wisdom Wednesday Returns

by - April 27, 2016

I don't want to settle. In any aspect of my life. Not in my job, not in friendships, not with my health and especially not when it comes to love.
I'll be the first to admit that I am a hopeless romantic. And sure, perhaps my idea of what love is like is heavily skewed by what I see in movies and read in books. And some people might say that that has given me unrealistic expectations when it comes to men. But I know that I'm not going to meet a prince just pretending to be a regular college student, and I won't fall madly in love with a man who tries to steal my cab. My life is not going to be like a Nicholas Sparks book, or a Nora Ephron film (as much as maybe I would like it to be). But that doesn't mean that I should have to settle for something I don't feel is real. And I'd like to believe that I have a pretty good idea of what real love is like because growing up I was always surrounded by it.

So, that being said here is an issue I'd like to open up about. It's something I've only just started admitting to myself, and it's not a quality I want people to know I have, but at the same time I think it's important that I talk about it.
I cling to any sort of attention I get from men, because for as long as I can remember I've never felt like I was worthy of being someone's first choice. And so anytime someone has shown even the slightest bit of interest in me I would immediately give all of myself to them, hoping that they would find at least one thing they felt was enough to make them want to stick around. And of course, when that didn't happen, when they would eventually grow tired of me, I would start to hate myself for once again bearing everything much too quickly. And this vicious cycle has been a constant in my life for a few years now and I want nothing more than for it to stop. The worst part about that is I know if any of my friends told me that they felt the way I did, I would be angry with them, for ever allowing themselves to feel like they aren't enough. But when it's me who feels like that, I can acknowledge that I shouldn't feel that way, but never do I do anything to try and stop it. Until now. Because I know that if I continue to have this "approach" when it comes to men, eventually someone will think she'll do, and I will find myself settling in a relationship and constantly questioning if I'm actually happy.

I think this quote applies to so many things in my life, not just to love. Because settling is easy. I mean really, to settle is essentially just to take the easiest route, and let's not pretend we don't all like it when things are easy. But what kind of life is that to live? I for one want to be truly and undeniably happy and I am taking a vow to myself right now to take all the steps necessary to get to that point. And that starts here and now, by deciding that to settle in life would mean sacrificing who I really am, and that is not something I'm willing to do anymore. I invite you guys to think about any aspects of your life you might be settling in, whether it be your work, your health or a relationship of any kind. And remember that you deserve every bit of happiness in your life and that you should never have to settle for less than the best.

Much Love,
Spenser xx

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